Germany – Page 51 – understand-culture

More books about Small Talk

Amazon Germany lists 196 books with ‘small talk’ in their title. The best sellers are Small Talk für Dummies, Small Talk – Nie Wieder Sprachlos (Never Again Speechless) and Small Talk – Die Besten Themen (The Best Topics).

The typical table of contents reads: What is small talk? What purpose does small talk serve? In what situations do you use small talk? When can small talk be dangerous or uncalled for? When do you need small talk? What topics are appropriate in small talk? Which topics are dangerous in small talk? Small talk and body language. How to react to small talk? How to deal with small talk in difficult situations?

Nearly two hundred books. What does this tell us about small talk in Germany?

Schweigen ist Gold

“Speech is silver. Silence is gold.” German children are taught to only speak when they have something intelligent to say. Idle banter – to speak or act playfully or wittily – is viewed as superficial, a lack of education, poor upbringing. It is considered impolite.

Supermarket checkout

At the supermarket check out somewhere in Germany. Cashier to customers: “28,35 Euro”. The customers silently passes the 50 Euro bill to the cashier. “21,65 is your change”. The customer packs up his groceries and leaves the store.

This type of limited conversation at the supermarket check out is not a rarity. Until a couple of years ago this was a common interaction. Nowadays, you will get a “good day” or “have a nice day” from the cashier before he puts the groceries in your shopping cart to make space for the next customer.

However, the cashier would never ask the flour- and sugar-buying customer if they are going to bake today. Furthermore, if a customer buys cereal and milk the cashier would never ask, with a winky face, if they are someone that likes breakfast for dinner. The cashier would also not say how much he likes cookies if someone was buying some. The check out is a place where you pay, not for small talk.

Personal nice. Professional better.

In small talk situations Americans seldom jump directly into the business subject matter. For Americans business is always to certain degree a personal matter. In fact, Americans prefer to work with people they like, and who like them.

Germans, on the other hand, can and will do business with you even if you have little or no personal relationship. Most importantly, they want to know if you are good at what you do. Personal is nice. Professional is better.

Civil Service German

Beamtendeutsch – the German of civil servants – prefers nouns instead of verbs, in the hope of coming across as sophisticated. It is not only typical in documents and correspondence with and between German government agencies at local, state and national levels – Beamtendeutsch has also found its way into large German companies. Its compact form, and supposed clarity, aim to be objective and authoritative. Verbs are turned into nouns. To notify becomes a notification of.

Beamtendeutsch also turns the active form into the passive, making it difficult for the reader to know who the subject is. It then creates Substantivketten, literally noun-chains: Application for Registration of Residence for Foreign Students in the County. The German language in general favors individual words made up of several nouns:

Leistungsnachweiserbringungspflicht or Leistung (benefit, performance) – Nachweis (certificate, confirmation) – Erbringung (producing, provision) – Pflicht (duty, responsibility), which in English would read: „Students must show proof of course completion.“

“Dienst ist Dienst”

Dienst ist Dienst und Schnaps ist Schnaps – literally: Work is work. Schnaps is schnaps (alcoholic beverage) – is a very well-known German figure of speech underlining the strict separation between work and play. A similar figures of speech conveys German thinking: Erst die Arbeit, dann das Vergnügen – first work, then enjoyment.

Thou vs Ye

In Old English, thou/thee were used to address a single person, while ye/you were used to address more than one person. However, as English developed, the terms ye and you were used to politely address a single person – first the king, then other high born nobility and the clergy, and eventually anyone at or above a person’s social status.

By the end of the 16th century, the word ye had virtually disappeared from daily speech, and the term you was quickly replacing the term thou.

As Early Modern English began, the word thou became associated with emotions, rather than number or hierarchy, and most people would only use thou if they were angry or in love. Ironically, these days people very rarely use the informal thou to indicate formality or to sound more archaic: “Thou shallt not lie.”

Frank und frei

Honest

Honesty. Honorableness. Straightforwardness. Truthfulness. Candor. Directness. Fairness. Honesty is often confused with impoliteness.

In Faust II (1832) written by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Germany‘s greatest writer, Baccalaureus is criticized for being rude, rough, abrasive. He responds with: “Those who are polite in German are lying“.

Literal: In the truest sense of the word; without interpretation. “He literally took apart the automobile, piece by piece.“

Euphemism

A euphemism is a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing: pre-owned car instead of a used car; sex worker instead of a prostitute; in between jobs instead of unemployed; senior citizen instead of old person; underserved neighborhood instead of impoverished neighborhood.

frank und frei

Literally frank and free, as in “Let me speak frankly and freely with you”. The term ‘frank’ is an age-old German word for free. The Franks were a Germanic tribe which successfully withstood the influence of tribes migrating from the Nordic countries into what is today’s northern Germany. Frank as a male first name was derived from Franko: a member of the Franks, meaning courageous, free.

“May God help me“

Martin Luther (1483-1546) – German, Catholic priest, Augustinian monk, professor of Theology – was the foremost driving force behind the Protestant Reformation, challenging fundamental teachings of the Church.

In April 1521 Luther was under intense pressure to recant his theological teachings before the Reichstag in Worms, an assembly of Germany’s worldly and religious leaders. Although there is no historical evidence of this, Luther is said to have responded with:

“I cannot and will not recant anything, since it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience. May God help me. Amen.”

sachlich

Germans strive to be sachlich or objective, business-like, factual, to the point, matter of fact. To be sachlich means to focus on the matter while leaving emotions out. A sachlich report, critique, comment, argument, judgement. Sachlich also means to leave out superfluous or gratuitous language. To be sachlich is to get to the point.